Do You Really Love Yourself? Set a Love Standard!
What’s Your Love Standard?
I remember the first time someone asked me if “I loved myself”. Upon hearing it I immediately thought “Of course! What an odd question?” But, after more thought and some internal reflection, I realized I wasn’t quite sure. I began to ponder this question and really begin to understand what “loving myself” truly meant. Today I can say that I love myself 100% and before truly understand the true meaning of “loving myself”, I truly only liked myself.
I want to clarify that loving oneself is not an egotistical I am “god” or I am “better” than view but a pure unadulterated and unconditional love that says I love myself despite and because. Most people are cognitively aware of how to love another and that love must come with forgiveness, acceptance, and free of judgment; allowing love that is sincere, pure, abundant, and respectful. But, when it comes to loving ourselves we love with scrutiny and love others first before we love others, by doing this we are not only cutting ourselves short but are actually cutting the one’s we love short of fully loving them. It is a common misconception that you can love another more than you love yourself, you must love yourself first and foremost before you can fully love another.
It is imperative to set a “love standard” for yourself. A standard that sets the tone for how much other’s should love you because it is how much you love yourself. To truly love yourself you must have genuine self-acceptance, limitless self-forgiveness, and a positive self-image. In order to love yourself with the same sincerity, purity, abundance, and respect you love another you must first do this for yourself.
As creatures of habit and having learned from our mothers, fathers, teachers, and preachers we have and learned and constantly put loving others first and loving ourselves second and sometimes third or fourth. The irony is that we seek from others the love we should be giving ourselves. We want those we love to forgive us, to accept us, and to give us the positive feedback on image that we should be giving ourselves. Repeatedly this behavior leaves us disappointed because we seek from another source when we must receive it from our internal source. The instant you start loving yourself, you will see that others start giving you more love and it is more of the love you want to receive.
The law of giving and receiving is well known in the arena of loving another; giving others love to receive love. But in the when it comes to loving ourselves we don’t love ourselves and that is why we never receive in full the love we want. The minute you begin to make the conscious effort to love yourself you want others to love you and with the same standards that you love others you will truly begin to give and receive love in abundance, agape love; this is a love standard. A love standard says: “This is how much I love myself, how much I will love you, and how much I want to be love. Establishing this love standard will allow you to maximize the law of giving and receiving. What’s your love standard? Are you cutting yourself and those you love short?
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Dr. Martha Nessler firstname.lastname@example.org
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