success strategist Archives - Dr. Martha Nessler

The other day I had an epiphany, we are living in a modern day, The Wizard of Oz.

Let me paint a picture, binging to life the modern day, The Wizard of Oz we are all a part of every single day.

Social media in all it’s forms: Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and whatever other means of picture and status sharing is the Land Of Oz, the magical Land of Oz. A land which the majority of the population is trapped in, whether by choice or social stigma, the Land of Oz has a sense of intrigue from the young to the old!

The question is not “Are you in trapped in Oz?”but “Who are you in Oz?”

Are you Dorothy looking for a home, a sense of belonging?

Does Oz offer a sense of companionship, understanding, comfort, belonging that washes away the overwhelming sense of loneliness that you feel when you aren’t plugged in?

Or are you the Cowardly Lion looking for courage?

Are you battling something that you believe “no one understands” or maybe you are an introvert that finds the interaction on social media to be the equivalent of social interaction or are you simply afraid to show the world who you really are for fear of rejection or another form of “lacking personal power and courage”? Do you find that while in Oz you are able to really be you?

Or are you looking for your heart like the Tin Man looking for his?

This can show up in a couple different ways are you looking to find the love of your life, wondering if you will ever find your soulmate? Or are you looking outside of your current relationship to find someone who fills the void? Maybe you feel unloved in the “real world” but when in Oz it seems as though everyone loves you, which is measurable by likes and comments?

Or are you The Scarecrow looking for his brain?

Are you constantly looking at research, blogs and informational statuses and groups seeking to increase your knowledge? Are you hungry to learn more and more? Are you looking for confirmation of what you believe, because your close friends and family view you are “weird” or strange for what you believe? Does Oz offer a sense of “acceptance” for what you believe and/or offer you a quick way to learn new information leaving your brain full?

Or are you one of the witches?

This maybe a hard on to admit, but are you The Wicked Witch of the West?

Do you love to cruise around Oz on your broom looking for statuses you don’t agree with, images that bother you, beliefs that conflict yours or other ways you can slip into keyboard warrior mode and unleash all the internal conflict that overwhelms you? Dumping your fury onto others rather than simply dealing with your own “stuff”? Do you look for ways to find fault in others or “point your finger” rather than to take a “look in the mirror”? Is Oz a buffer that softens your own personal pain?

We all want to be the Good Witch or do we?

Are you Glenda The Good Witch always looking to cheer others up, “like” a post just to “like” it, posting something optimistic even though you can’t really see the positive side of the situation? Have you been through a lot in life and are able to really see life for the blessing it is and want to share your joy with others hoping they will learn the same lesson you have learned? Does staying positive and bringing joy to others warm your soul and Oz is the perfect place to “do good”?

So who are you?

We all fit into one category, where you fit is not the question. The question is, “Are you are “the Wizard?”

So, are you The Wizard?

In other words, how are you showing up in Oz?

Are you real and authentic you posting raw statuses, images and comments, unadulterated by social acceptance?

Or are you hiding behind the curtain of social media?

The Wizard had a voice synthesizer to “up his power”, do you post the true you or do you post to build yourself up to who you want to be, much like your computer possesses a “post synthesizer”?

There are a few truths about the Land of Oz:

There is no getting out of Oz, the methods of social media increase daily, you can’t change the growth of social media, you can only change how you show up on social media.

You play a role in The Wizard of Oz: Dorothy, The Tin Man, The Cowardly Lion, The Scarecrow, and/or one of the witches, Glenda the Good Witch or The Wicked Witch and at different times that role will change.

The world outside of social media is also The Land of Oz for many people, they are searching both online and in the world for balance.

The only choice you have in Oz is whether or not you are The Wizard.

You get to choose how you show up and whether or not you expose your authentic self and what others see outside the green curtain that is your computer or hand held device.

Whatever it is you seek: love, acceptance, knowledge or other, know that the world is waiting for you to show up!

Someone else may need to hear what you have to say, where you have been, may need the glimpse into your life is brought forth through authenticity, realness and the raw you!

What if we were all more real, more authentic and more raw? Whether everyone is out of our control.

But, whether or not you are is in your control.

xoxo

It’s time to unstuck yourself!

Being stuck is no fun, whether your stuck at a certain weight, stuck at a job you hate, stuck in a relationship, wherever you are stuck being stuck is no fun!

The hard core reality about being stuck is that the only person who can unstuck you is you, which can be a somewhat painful and dreadful epiphany!

Whether you are a free bird feeling caged or a more cautious individual a little more afraid to pull off the ball and chain holding you back, being stuck is no fun and the quicker you get unstuck the better!

Just like anything in life, getting unstuck is a process, a process which can seem daunting but once the tension starts to ease, you get the wind back in your sail and start to cruise you will be thankful you went through the steps to unstuck yourself and you will be in sailing in gratitude!

8 Steps to Unstucking Yourself

Create the time and space to get unstuck.

You didn’t get stuck over night, getting stuck was a process, so is getting unstuck!

Carve out some time, which will vary by situation and individual, for you to really get clear on your current sticky situation! I get that you may be busy, but honestly make it a priority, unless you just LOVE being stuck.

Create a space that allows you to really dig deep into your heart space with music that inspires you in an environment that allows you to be creative and diffuse some motivational oils like Citrus Bliss, Peppermint, Motivate or my blend, “Get Out of Bed and Get Going” (grapefruit, douglas fir, tangerine and spearmint).

You can choose to write it out, talk it out, think it out, draw it out or whatever suits your style, just get clarity around why you are stuck with the next 7 steps!

2. Commit to completing the process.

It’s human nature to want to run from situations that are painful or stressful, commit to getting yourself unstuck no matter what it takes, how bad it hurts, or how you feel. All situations have different circumstances that will have an impact on the “unstucking” process, but don’t give up and stay stuck – is that really an option?

3. Accept the fact you threw down the exact anchor that’s holding you back.

This is probably the hardest part of getting unstuck and why so many people stay stuck for so long. It’s not easy to admit that you are why you are stuck, you and you alone. It’s so much easier and definitely more fun to blame someone else but shifting the blame will leave you anchored while everyone else around you sails!

Yes, it is definitely a possibility that someone co-created with you and you got stuck together but to blame him, her or them for the anchor that holds you back is pointless and won’t get you unstuck any quicker.

4. Look at the angles.

Take a good hard look at the situation, viewing it from all angles. If other individuals are involved acknowledge the part that each of you played in the process and acknowledge all parties for their involvement.

It’s extremely easy to place blame on others than to assume responsibility for your actions but really no one is keeping you stuck but you!

5. Get clear on how you could have handled yourself or the situation or both differently.

Although painful to acknowledge you could be placed in the exact same situation again and better to be prepared than to end up not only returning to the same spot but stuck there too!

Yes, it happens but it doesn’t have to happen to you.

This is one of the easier steps with hindsight usually being the better vision, but this step can often be accompanied by some heavy emotions so if you are like me grab a box of tissues because you are about to see how your own choices got you where you are today!

6. Make a list of everything you have learned by being stuck, whether positive or negative do a brain dump and get it all out.

Struggles are lessons, just like school lessons they teach you something and just like school you get to decide whether you learn. The only real difference from school is that there is no teacher to mark your paper and tell you what you should have learned or to prompt you along so that you pass the test. You are the teacher so get out your red pen and get crystal clear on the lesson plan because this is the test and if you don’t pass this one with flying colors you will see this test again.

7. Gratitude

Take a look at the list you made in step #6 with all the lessons you have learned and say, “thank you” for the lessons. It’s so easy to be frustrated when you are stuck casting blame and wondering why me, but once you have liberated yourself spend some time in gratitude. If you really took the time in step #6 you will have plenty to say thanks about here in step #7.

8. Celebrate.

Congratulations, you set yourself free! Celebrate being unstuck and all that you learned “unstucking” yourself! If you don’t celebrate your achievements who will?

Relish in the way it feels to have gotten clear and motivated to achieve the outcome you want and deserve! Save this article for a friend or in case you find yourself with an anchor holding you back!

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8 Ways to Unstuck Yourself