Are You Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places?

I have always heard that all people are created equal and more and more I am finding the validity of that exact statement.  I am not denying that there are factors which separate individuals and give us our own individual set of characteristics, but the one thread that ties us all together is the pursuit of love.  Each and every person I have ever encountered is looking for the same thing, love.  Seeking to find someone to love them and in turn someone to love.  Just as common as it is for an individual to seek love, they search relentlessly for something that is right below their nose or more clearly right below their skin.

Self-love is not a concept that is touched on much in society, and truthfully I am the only person I have heard speak of it in such a way that emphasizes the importance as it pertains to a healthy existence.  In society, we are taught to be selfless early on and I do believe in the importance of serving others and reaping what you sow is a key aspect of a healthy life, a more rewarding life.  But more importantly, I know the importance of loving yourself and I believe that loving yourself more allows one to serve at a higher level because they are serving selflessly and not seeking or needing to be filled up.

More and more I see it in my interactions with coaching, friendships, patient – doctor, and daily conversation, that people have a lack of self love.  A couple times a day I encounter an individual looking for love – love from a significant other, children, friend, even their job and the list goes on.  Rarely to I hear acknowledgment from another person that they are seeking to love themselves more.  This really is tragic considering loving oneself with one hundred percent self- acceptance, self-image, and self-respect is the key to receiving love in abundance in all relationships.

The law of giving and receiving and/or reaping and sowing is perfectly applied in the aspect of love.  The more love you give yourself the more love you will attract into your life, therefore creating an overflow of love to share with others.   All too often people give and give and give to others making sure they “feel the love”—but the one person they forget to love is themselves.  It’s a common misconception that you are to put yourself last and to fill up another with love.  It leaves you with the misconception that another person must create love for you and that another’s love has authority over you.  This pattern leads to a road with no real destination, because another cannot love you more than you love yourself.

Breaking the cycle in your own life will cascade into the lives of those with whom you are in a relationship.  It all starts with a willingness to create abundant love in your life above and beyond any other person, yes, to fall in love with yourself, your innate being before you fall in love with another.  To be able to see yourself as the perfect being you were created and to selflessly love yourself as you would another human being.  Authentic love of yourself will create the possibility for you to attract authentic love into your own life, allowing your love to spill over into the world.  You owe it to yourself and the world to start today and fall madly in love with your innate self—purely, madly, deeply.


With Innate Love,

Dr. Martha Nessler


Planting Asparagus? You Won’t Grow Tomatoes.

Dr. Martha’s Monday Morning Motivational

Monday, November 23, 2010

The concept of gardening is quite simple.  You plant a seed in dirt, you fertilize and water the seed and it begins to grow.  Whatever you have planted is what you grow.  If you plant green bean seeds you will then pick and enjoy delicious green beans.  The same holds true for planting carrot seeds, you will get carrots and if you plant potatoes you will get potatoes.  Never will you plant acorn squash seeds and get peas or plant turnips and get tomatoes. It’s just the concept of planting! I like to refer to this concept as the Law of Reaping and Sowing.  This Law of Reaping and Sowing applies to our everyday lives.  Just like in gardening you can’t harvest what you don’t plant the same holds true for life.  You can’t get out of life what you don’t put in.

Most people if not all want an abundant life! They want a life full of love, vibrance, joy, peace, happiness, blessings, and all things grand.  The question is not what people want but the question is what are they putting in? When you live your life loving others regardless of circumstance you will in turn receive love.  When you maintain a peaceful demeanor in all your interactions you will receive peace in return.  If your focus is to bless others and share your abundance you in turn are blessed and receive in abundance.  Reaping and sowing is a universal concept that allows you to obtain the life you seek because it is the life you live. Are you sowing in others what you expect to reap?

Is your life missing something? Or do you want more of something? Many times we want more, more, more but we aren’t willing to give, give, give.  In these situations, it is important that we self-assess and ask ourselves if we are giving in abundance in all areas so that we are receiving the same.  Many times individuals seek to receive love but they are not giving love in order to receive it.  Just like you can’t plant a asparagus and harvest a tomato you can’t give anger and receive love! Plain and simple you won’t get what you don’t give.  So, start giving more of what you are lacking and be prepared to be fulfilled!

This Thanksgiving remember to give thanks for all that you have been given! Remember that all you have is a blessing you received because of all you have given! Enjoy your family and loved ones!  And go ahead give them some love…you will get some awesome love in return!

Love. Laugh. Adjust.

Dr. Martha Nessler, Innate Girl