In Memory of Pamela Jean Murphy Nessler, who will be forever missed for the mother, wife, daughter, sister, cousin, friend, teacher, aunt, and so much more by so many. While it was two short years I was blessed by her presence, like my father to said, “I was lucky to have known you at all”. My mother has passed on many years agobut today I live and today I am me and she is with the Lord. I love you, Mom. Til we meet again.
My mother passed away on April 19, 1982. From what I have heard and innately know at a soul level she was a beautiful women on the inside and out, with an infectious laugh, a heart of gold, and innate ability to touch the heart of every person who had the honor of sharing a moment of time with her. As my dad so eloquently said, “I was lucky to have known her at all”, simply stated yet complexly profound. In honor of her passing, I will share how losing my mother has been a catalyst in my life rather than just another story that I tell. Losing my mother at two years and 4 months old was a pivotal point in my life because I have honored it as such, while it could have been an anchor instead it is a root that grounds me to who I am and supports the woman into whom I constantly evolve.
Every single person has had an event in his or her life that made an impact in such a way that it became a “story”. A story that they tell and re-tell to loved ones, dear friends, to anyone who will listen or just over and over via internal dialogue. Stories are very important, they are a part of the journey that leads us to our complete evolution as a human on earth. Stories are important, in compilation they make us who we are and just the same, if we allow them to take such form, they can be detrimental and keep us from truly living!
I view stories as lessons and depending on how you view it, fortunately or unfortunately, lessons are learned and sometimes they burn. Every single “story” is in your life to teach you something and to add to who you are to prepare you for what you are to do. Lessons are unavoidable but how you use the “story” of the lesson is your choice. Stories should make you and not break you nor take you from living. It’s important to ask, “Is your story serving you or enslaving you?” Stories can either be anchors or roots. Just like most things in life you can decide whether or not your story is one that serves you like a root serves a plant or enslaves you like an anchor enslaves a boat.
Anchors keep a boat from moving keeping it EXACTLY where the boat was stationed. This holds true for a story that you allow to keep you where you in a certain place in your life. Telling the same story over and over without learning the lesson of that story will stop you from growing from the experience and moving on to the next “chapter” or lesson in your life. Just like an anchor allows a boat to move a little, you may move a little but you won’t really go anywhere until you release the anchor.
Roots facilitate the growth of a plant by stabilizing and grounding it regardless of how tumultuous the condition, providing security and support. Roots are an integral part of the plant but they are not the plant, just like your story is not “who you are”. So many times people allow their story to depict who they are rather support who they have become and are continually becoming. Roots do not impede growth but rather facilitate growth. Roots also absorb nutrients and water from the soil to nurture the plant and feed the plant internally. Fertilizer provides even more nutrition to a plant, which is absorbed via the root system. Being raised on a farm I will tell you that manure is one of the best fertilizers what if we viewed all the events that seem “negative” or as we call it “shit”, as the fertilizer of life how much would we grow? The shitty stuff doesn’t seem as bad when you realize it facilitates growth and is absorbed into you at a cellular level.
The shift from anchor to root is easy if you are ready and choose to make the shift. Beginning to shift takes two words “THANK YOU”, acknowledging your gratitude for the experience. Gratitude is the most healing state one can be in it is quantum state. Quantum state is not positive or negative but simply just “is”. It is in quantum state where love grows. Remember love is the highest vibration making all things possible including healing. Start today by saying, “THANK YOU” because without each and every experience you would not be you! Stop telling your story and start living your life!
Love. Laugh. Adjust.
Dr. Martha Nessler, Innate Girl