Are You Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places?

I have always heard that all people are created equal and more and more I am finding the validity of that exact statement.  I am not denying that there are factors which separate individuals and give us our own individual set of characteristics, but the one thread that ties us all together is the pursuit of love.  Each and every person I have ever encountered is looking for the same thing, love.  Seeking to find someone to love them and in turn someone to love.  Just as common as it is for an individual to seek love, they search relentlessly for something that is right below their nose or more clearly right below their skin.

Self-love is not a concept that is touched on much in society, and truthfully I am the only person I have heard speak of it in such a way that emphasizes the importance as it pertains to a healthy existence.  In society, we are taught to be selfless early on and I do believe in the importance of serving others and reaping what you sow is a key aspect of a healthy life, a more rewarding life.  But more importantly, I know the importance of loving yourself and I believe that loving yourself more allows one to serve at a higher level because they are serving selflessly and not seeking or needing to be filled up.

More and more I see it in my interactions with coaching, friendships, patient – doctor, and daily conversation, that people have a lack of self love.  A couple times a day I encounter an individual looking for love – love from a significant other, children, friend, even their job and the list goes on.  Rarely to I hear acknowledgment from another person that they are seeking to love themselves more.  This really is tragic considering loving oneself with one hundred percent self- acceptance, self-image, and self-respect is the key to receiving love in abundance in all relationships.

The law of giving and receiving and/or reaping and sowing is perfectly applied in the aspect of love.  The more love you give yourself the more love you will attract into your life, therefore creating an overflow of love to share with others.   All too often people give and give and give to others making sure they “feel the love”—but the one person they forget to love is themselves.  It’s a common misconception that you are to put yourself last and to fill up another with love.  It leaves you with the misconception that another person must create love for you and that another’s love has authority over you.  This pattern leads to a road with no real destination, because another cannot love you more than you love yourself.

Breaking the cycle in your own life will cascade into the lives of those with whom you are in a relationship.  It all starts with a willingness to create abundant love in your life above and beyond any other person, yes, to fall in love with yourself, your innate being before you fall in love with another.  To be able to see yourself as the perfect being you were created and to selflessly love yourself as you would another human being.  Authentic love of yourself will create the possibility for you to attract authentic love into your own life, allowing your love to spill over into the world.  You owe it to yourself and the world to start today and fall madly in love with your innate self—purely, madly, deeply.


With Innate Love,

Dr. Martha Nessler


Re-Entering is a Re-Birth

I just got home from 8 days in the Dominican Republic and Haiti, where I completed my third mission trip.  Mission trips are very interesting for me.  They allow me to remove myself from the world of “what is” and escape to a place of complete service.  If you haven’t been on a mission let me explain…in our daily lives we fall into a routine.  We go through the motions over and over again.  Especially when we get our SYSTEMS done; we know what to say, what to do, etc… to convey the message to our communities as a whole.  But, when you are on a mission there are cultural variants, language barriers, time/scheduling, etc variables that come into play.  On a mission you can’t hide behind routine, scripting, scheduling, etc… it’s a free for all and you are forced to enter into a place of complete service.  You are forced to let go of all you know to be true and go with instinct.  Listening purely to your heart and your gut.  For some it’s scary and for others its re-assuring and for some it is the combo but when it is all said and done everyone sums it up to growth.  Because any time we leave our comfort zone we grow. 

Every time I re-enter into the life I let behind it takes a few days, well the second trip it took a week.  It takes some time to re-adapt back to life that you left behind.  Inevitably there are a few things I realize while on the mission…things I know I want changed for ever for the better, self-tweaking if you will.  It all takes time. Four to seven days on a mission seems like a lifetime because so much happens, especially in the area of growth.  That’s what really makes re-entry difficult.  On the mission you grow, well I do.  So, you feel so close to all those on the mission because they to are growing at the speed of light with you.  The part that makes re-entry hard is that while you are gone, it’s almost as if nothing changes.  So, you come back completely evolved and re-enter in to the same scenario you left, which is where the difficulty surfaces.

Having been on three missions I am able to see this growth and evolution as a blessing, a gift I bring back, so to speak.  I have come to realize that all I learn on the mission at both a worldly and soul level is a gift I get to bring back.  Mission trips aren’t for everyone but growth is a necessity for everyone.  So, when I re-enter I realize that I have the opportunity to share my growth with those whose lives I touch.  It’s like being the town crier, you have a really great message and a healing energy to share with your community.  It’s interesting because everyone expects a trinket when you return home on a trip but no one expects you to come home with life changing lessons that are priceless. 

I realize I need to do this a lot more and not just when I leave the country.  I know personally I have re-births all the time as I constantly evolve into the best version of myself.  I know that some times I can’t put them into words but when I can I need to share them.  This is an important thing for us as purpose driven chiropractors to remember each time we attend a seminar, read a book, or experience any growth.  It is part of our duty to help aid in the re-birth of our practice members, communities, and friends lives.

Love. Laugh. Adjust.

Dr. Martha’s Monday Morning Motivational