I once heard, “you have to get, lost to truly find yourself” and moving across the world revealed the truth in this statement.
I have always been intrigued by the fact that people thought they knew me better than I knew myself, and lately I have been intrigued by the fact- that I thought I knew me. Right now you either get what I am saying, or you think it’s crazy for me to say that there is a possibility – YOU don’t even know yourself.
Before you decide whether to subscribe to my blog or to go bashing me on Facebook for being completely crazy, I encourage you to read this blog in its entirety.
There was a time when the one thing that drove me crazy was when people thought they knew “who I was” or eluded to knowing how I operate, almost better than I knew myself. Now a year and a half later I laugh that I thought I knew who I was before moving across the world.
I once heard a powerful statement, “your greatest strength is your weaknesses on overload,” from a dear friend and coach, Dr. Barry Warren. When I first heard this statement, I questioned Barry as to what he was talking about, but after I allowed it to reverb within I was able to see the truth and apply it to my journey.
Most people would say I was outgoing, eccentric, and extroverted as they see it. Truth, be told, I am shy, nervous, and introverted; unless I am comfortable. The key word being comfortable; therefore, my patients, friends, family, and audiences would never believe that I was a nervous, shy, introvert, who was nervous about what others thought; that’s because they know me in my comfort zone. My true friends, like my boyfriend, Dean and best friends, Amanda, Breann, Blair, and Janice; know this and are probably glad “the cat is out of the bag.”
I’m not sure I can explain what happens to an individual when they leave everything they know to be true and start fresh in a completely new space, in another country, another time zone, and in a different hemisphere. Something happens at a soul level, when you are suddenly and completely out of your comfort zone, and no one knows you.
I am so blessed to have an awesome person like, Dean, with me on this transformational experience, but even he will tell you that being transplanted to New Zealand has caused a spark, allowing more of me to shine. There is a strong possibility that the move had nothing to do with it, but rather I was finally “okay” with me; none-the-less getting lost allowed me to find myself.
Have you ever stopped and evaluated yourself? Don’t worry I hadn’t either, until I moved to New Zealand, and all the sudden everyone was trying to find out about the new American girl in Tuakau, New Zealand. I should mention; Tuakau’s population is 3,500 and that I am the only American in the town and one of maybe a dozen in the whole county. The energy of everyone wanting to know who I was, motivated me to do the same.
I was about to find out who Martha Nessler was? Suddenly, I was removed from ALL of my comfort zones, from anything and anyone familiar, and I was free to express me fully. As exciting as it sounds it was quite scary.
I had a blank canvas and free to paint and express. It was at this point I realized the impact my family, friends, teachers, and preachers (MFTP) had on me since day one, but here I was and the only thing controlling my expression of self was myself.
Don’t worry I am still me, just a bit freer.
Today, I found myself, on July 4th (the southern hemisphere), walking on the beach in cowboy boots, my favorite jeans, my Marmot down coat, and favorite two silk scarfs, whimsically entwined. Yes, I said cowboy boots on the beach, which I know my dad is smiling as he reads this.
It was the cowboy boots that lead to this blog. As I stared into the beautiful ocean that lay in front of me, knowing that Dean was watching with a smile, I began to realize the RAW beauty of my transformation.
I was still me a farm girl from the Midwest, transplanted by love to a beautiful island half way across the world; same woman, same boots, just a bit more authentic to herself.
There was a day, when I would have worried a bit more about wearing my cowboy boots on the beach, but today I felt FREE in my boots, knowing I am me!
It is my wish that on this Independence Day, July, 4, 2014, is a day which everyone feels a bit more freedom of self expression!
Much Love. Keep it Real, RAW, and Natural and Be A REAL Human BEING!
Dr. Martha Nessler