Are You Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places?
I have always heard that all people are created equal and more and more I am finding the validity of that exact statement. I am not denying that there are factors which separate individuals and give us our own individual set of characteristics, but the one thread that ties us all together is the pursuit of love. Each and every person I have ever encountered is looking for the same thing, love. Seeking to find someone to love them and in turn someone to love. Just as common as it is for an individual to seek love, they search relentlessly for something that is right below their nose or more clearly right below their skin.
Self-love is not a concept that is touched on much in society, and truthfully I am the only person I have heard speak of it in such a way that emphasizes the importance as it pertains to a healthy existence. In society, we are taught to be selfless early on and I do believe in the importance of serving others and reaping what you sow is a key aspect of a healthy life, a more rewarding life. But more importantly, I know the importance of loving yourself and I believe that loving yourself more allows one to serve at a higher level because they are serving selflessly and not seeking or needing to be filled up.
More and more I see it in my interactions with coaching, friendships, patient – doctor, and daily conversation, that people have a lack of self love. A couple times a day I encounter an individual looking for love – love from a significant other, children, friend, even their job and the list goes on. Rarely to I hear acknowledgment from another person that they are seeking to love themselves more. This really is tragic considering loving oneself with one hundred percent self- acceptance, self-image, and self-respect is the key to receiving love in abundance in all relationships.
The law of giving and receiving and/or reaping and sowing is perfectly applied in the aspect of love. The more love you give yourself the more love you will attract into your life, therefore creating an overflow of love to share with others. All too often people give and give and give to others making sure they “feel the love”—but the one person they forget to love is themselves. It’s a common misconception that you are to put yourself last and to fill up another with love. It leaves you with the misconception that another person must create love for you and that another’s love has authority over you. This pattern leads to a road with no real destination, because another cannot love you more than you love yourself.
Breaking the cycle in your own life will cascade into the lives of those with whom you are in a relationship. It all starts with a willingness to create abundant love in your life above and beyond any other person, yes, to fall in love with yourself, your innate being before you fall in love with another. To be able to see yourself as the perfect being you were created and to selflessly love yourself as you would another human being. Authentic love of yourself will create the possibility for you to attract authentic love into your own life, allowing your love to spill over into the world. You owe it to yourself and the world to start today and fall madly in love with your innate self—purely, madly, deeply.
With Innate Love,
Dr. Martha Nessler
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