A Legacy Never Dies

The hardest part about living on the other side of world…is living on the other side of the world.

Since Friday, I have resisted the tug on my heart strings to board a plane and head to La Grange, Illinois to look into my grandmother’s (Maudie) eyes one last time and whisper, I love you.

My Maudie is the most beautiful woman, inside and out, she is elegant and poised, love emanates from her very being, and her piercing blue eyes warm your soul, simply stated, she is Love.

My grandmother has always had a special place in my heart, not only because she is my grandmother, but because she my is maternal connection on this world to my mother who passed when I was two years-old.

Yesterday, I received a call that Maudie had passed on to finish her earthly journey and continue her journey with God.

Of her life and her love, I would say,

I was truly blessed to have known and to have been loved by such a beautiful, God-fearing woman.

I love you, Maudie, Thank you for the legacy.  It is through you and Pop Pop that I have truly learned the art and importance of loving and being loved.

In 1996, my grandmother blessed each of her grandchildren and her husband with a hardbound copy of her memoirs, A Glimpse Into My Life.

A Glimpse Into My Life, is a irreplaceable, invaluable book filled with wisdom, history, and love – written in my grandmother’s handwriting – it’s something felt rather than to be expressed.

In her honor, I will share some of her words and wisdom, it is my wish that her life inspires others as it has inspired me, although she has passed her legacy lives on.

A Glimpse Into My Life, by Jean Condon Murphy

The inscription is simple yet profound,

            To Martha with Love,  Maudie

            -isolated moments of recognition-

The pages in this book are written randomly, not in any particular order. It is just remembering – “thinking back”, and passing it on.

The inscription is this book sums up her memoirs in a proverbial nutshell, isolated moments of recognition in no particular order, filled with wisdom that comes with living.

Saturday, I picked up A Glimpse Into My Life to feel connected to my Maudie in spirit, to lessen the distance.

There are no coincidences in life, I opened her book to page ninety-six, the insert on her mother, my great grandmother, Kathleen Victoria Fagan Condon.

Maudie spoke of her mother’s spirit, her love, her belief in God that strengthened her, her losses, her joys, what she brought to this world, and her passing.

Maudie shared the deep pain and sadness she felt that she was not physically with her mother, a pain I currently can relate to with my physical distance from her.

She then went on to say:

I think of my mother often. I also think about loneliness – how the body perhaps is not aching, but certainly the spirit is…

Her words are profound and they are exactly why I picked up A Glimpse Into My Life, my spirit yearned to feel that connection.

I learned early on it is possible to feel someone who is not physically present if you allow yourself to connect emotionally and spiritually – reading her memoirs allowed me to really feel her.

She continued on about my great grandmother’s legacy,

And she left a legacy…

It is good to have dreams – consider your skills and talents and use them wisely and well – be able to love, and to laugh above all, to serve with joy – to look forward to each tomorrow and never, never to despair.

It’s like my grandmother wrote her own epitaph, as she wrote this for her mother – these words sum up Maudie’s legacy, a legacy that is beautiful, eloquent, emanating in love and service.

I love you, Maudie…

            Your Legacy Lives on.



Is it possible to regret what you have done, yet not regret who you are?

Is it possible to regret what you have done, yet not regret who you are?

Or by regretting what you have done are you regretting who you have become?

It is inevitable that throughout life, most, if not all, individuals will have one experience or more that leaves them asking internal questions such as, “What was I thinking?” or “Why did I do that?” or “I can’t believe I thought that was a good idea!”

The interesting paradox in life is all that we have done in the past creates who we are today in the present, yet so many people live in regret over what has happened in the past.

I have definitely had my share of experiences that were unpleasant and at the time I felt extreme sadness or regret in regards to the event, but there is a difference between experiencing regret and allowing regret to minimize your experience.

There was a time when I didn’t understand that both what had happened to me and that I had done, positive or negative, depending on how I perceived it; molded who I was today.

Once I was able to understand that every event I had experienced, whether I was actively or inactively involved, had a direct influence and contributed to my existence and my self-evolution.photo

By realizing each event plays an integral role in one’s journey, allows gratitude for all experiences, regardless of perception, because each event plays an integral role in one’s evolution as a human being.  It is imperative that individual’s acknowledge where they have been and what they have done reveal who an individual is today.

Exhausted from living in regret? You are not alone.

You are simple shift in perspective away from setting yourself free and releasing the weight of sadness that only anchors us to perceived negative experiences, freeing yourself to fully live.

Shift your perspective and watch your existence elevate with these easy steps:

Change the meaning of the event for YOU.

It is important to understand that YOU give meaning to all your experiences; they are not negative or positive until you decide their meaning in regards to your perception of the experience. YOU and you alone decide whether an experience is positive or negative.

It’s okay if your perception varies from others involved in the same situation.

It is possible that two people can have the same event happen at the same time, same place, same environment, and have a different perceived outcome.

Live in gratitude for all your experiences, while you were creating them they were simultaneously creating you – molding you.

Simply shift your perceived outcome of the event(s) from negative to positive – how can something that has contributed to your existence be negative?

Every event that has happened to you over the course of time has contributed to the individual you are today, without all that YOU have been through YOU would not be you!

Replace regret with content, “I am content with what has happened”, relish in the knowing that all events have propelled you to your current position in life – embrace gratitude.

Don’t let past experiences paralyze you, free yourself of regret and allow them to propel you.

It is common that individuals allow events to paralyze them, rather than embracing the experience and allowing it to propel them and enhance their human expression and existence.

There is a misconception that only the positive experiences in life propel us and mold us, shockingly, if it is allowed the negative experiences often have the greatest ability to enhance human existence.

Shift your perspective – shift your life!

When force is applied to matter it either molds it or breaks it, the same is true of each and every event in your life, they will mold you or break you – be putty in God’s hand and allow Him to mold you!

Enhancing Life Expression,

Dr. Martha Nessler@drmarthanessler